So my parents just found out about my fourteen year old brother smoking weed because they found this on his window ledge. So in the middle of a huge lecture my dad decides to open the Baggie and smell it to see how strong it is. He immediately starts crying with laughter. THIS NIGGA HAS BEEN BUYING AND SMOKING FUCKING OREGANO. FUCKIN ITALIAN HERBS. SON. I CAN’T. I CANNOT. I CAN’T DO THIS.
i bought 46 doughnuts at the store today
If each pack has 12 doughnuts, wouldn’t it be 48 doughnuts??
i have 3 packs of 12 and 1 pack of 10 because they were all out of 12’s i know how to count my doughnuts son
“Tell us an interesting fact about yourself!”
wHAT KIND OF ASSHOLE EATS OREOS WITH CHOPSTICKS
AND NEEDS A FUCKING SAUCER FOR THEIR MILK
LISTEN HERE FUCKFACE OREOS ARE MEANT TO BE HELD IN YOUR FINGERS AND YOU SLAMDUNK THOSE DELICIOUS LITTLE COCKWOBBLERS INTO A GLASS OF WHOLESOME GODDAMN MILK
YOU GET YOUR FINGERS WET IN THE MILK BUT YOU DON’T GIVE A SHIT BECAUSE YOU FUCKING WASHED YOUR HANDS ALONG WITH YOUR TROUSERS BEFOREHAND BECAUSE OREOS AND MILK ARE SO FUCKING EXCITING THAT SOMETIMES YOU WET YOURSELF ABOUT IT AND NO ONE JUDGES YOU BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKING OREOS
YOU FUCKING NASTY TRASH PUT THOSE CHOPSTICKS AWAY BEFORE THE SOCIAL JUSTICE BLOGGERS NAIL YOU TO A TREE FOR APPROPRIATION
THIS SHIT MAKES ME WANT TO BURN DOWN AN OIL REFINERY JESUS FUCKING SKATEBOARDED OFF A CLIFF AND TURNED INTO A PTERODACTYL CHRIST
when i die will you write my obituary?^^^^^^^^
i will but i’m probably gonna call you out on dying like a little bitch
(Source: nom-food)
This post has been featured on a 1000notes.com blog.
01000110010101010100001101001011:
im-sherlocked-in-my-mindpalace:
socially-awkward-supervillian:
Fun fact: Cheetahs only attack pray that runs
jesus that is good to know.
Yup, that’s the point you just stay still and let it do whatever the fuck it wants that doesn’t involved you getting eaten.
REALLY FUN FACT for big cats cheetahs are fucking docile as shit
my grandfather ran a cheetah sanctuary in south africa and he’d just lie with them and sleep among them and they’d rub against him and chirp at him they’re big fucking babies
Another Fun Fact: Cheetah’s are incredibly nervous animals. One of the (many) reason’s they’re going extinct is that cheetah’s are so sensitive and nervous, some of them are literally too nervous to breed. Other’s will breed, but stress themselves out so much, they’ll loose their cubs.
So zoo’s with breeding program’s had to figure out how to make Cheetah’s comfortable enough to first of all, get laid and secondly - not spazz themselves into miscarrying.
So what’d they do?
They gave the cheetah’s their very own Service Dogs!
The dogs make them feel safe, protected and secure!Thats fucking adorable as hell
if you don’t like cheetahs you’re wrong
Cheetahs are officially back on my list of favourite animals.
